I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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