Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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