If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
