Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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