and you said cock pushups were impossible
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
