ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have tasted many bathrooms
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
