i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i believe in u and ur pee
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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