She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
