I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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