I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
