eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
