When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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