When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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