ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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