Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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