i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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