i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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