my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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