In the future we'll all be gay
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
