Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
