I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
