..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
