You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
