Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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