what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
