i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
