Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can I color on your dick again?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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