Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
