if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
