Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
