thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
