the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
