You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
