So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
