According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
