We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
