batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
