are you still at the devil's house?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
