Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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