This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
