I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
