i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
