Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
