He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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