I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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