Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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