That's intense
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
