Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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