what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize