1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
