That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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