Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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