hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i drank out of a bidet.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
