whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
